school, minnesota, hunger games, tattoo's....

Oh it's been awhile since I updated. I registered for school last week! I'm still deciding between buz admin, legal assistant and crap cant remember the other one right now. I'm waiting for Unemployment to accept it and pay for it. Start May 22nd. So excited. I'm enjoying life not waiting for a man to show up. Relationships are over rated any ways! I'm really independant emotionally so it's fine. I love alone time like days at a time alone! So just looking forward to school! I just spent a weekend up in Minnesota to see Mary last weekend! 3 days! I love her house! The bedroom downstairs aka Alec's room is wonderful and a perfect place to hide out but that didn't last long. Mary kept coming down to see why I was in my room. We were on the go most of the weekend. From IKEA, Mall of America and everywhere inbetween. I ate splendidly all weekend as well. Meats ans veggiies! Not junk food! The 3 hour drive alone is the only part I don't like. Road trips are better with others. Love going up there so peaceful and if I had a house like that I'd never leave. While I was there I started reading the Hunger Games. It is utterly brilliant. Half way through the book and can't wait to see the movie. Katniss Everdeen is a heroine just like Hermione Granger. Both Series are amazing. I realized why I think Twilight is so bad. Bella is a whiny, insecure, needy, apparently needs a man to fill whole. Horrible example to young girls, teens and young adult women. The twilight story is week and lame and it doesn't compare to Harry Potter and Hunger Games. So I got my 3rd tattoo 3 weeks ago! It's a PCOS butterfly on my left caf on the side of my leg! I have 4 more tats I want to get. All which will glorify God! I want all my tats to be meaningful and spirutual. Not something stupid I'll regret later.

4 years Single

So just a few days ago marked my day of Rebirth. The day I ended my marriage. 4 years later I seem to be in a completely different place. No wanting to continue in trying to find love and getting remarried. I don't care anymore and have decided that wont be what defines me or my life. I had such High hopes that after it feel apart it wouldn't be hard for me to find anyone and move on and get married. Ha it's been a horrible couple years of dating and another reason for me to just stop caring. I honestly stopped believing there is a guy out there who believes what I believe and wants what I want. This may seem bitter what I'm writing and maybe it is but I had such High hopes that it was just Him and not all men could be like that. That there were men who believed in Marriage what it truely is. Ok I know they exsist cuz my Friends are married to them. My Friends through church I mean. Trust me I know friends with some real pieces of work other halves. I just don't believe it's for me anymore. I still believe in Love but not that Romantic love. Agape Love is what I believe in and Agape Love is the Love of Christ for those who don't know. It's unconditional Love. God is the only real Love I'll experince in this fallen world. Cuz the Love I get from family and friends comes from that Agape love. Agape love is how we tolorate people who drive us crazy like my roommate and me. We are so close we fight horribly but then we make up. cuz we love each other. She says I'm one of the only people who's truly cared about her. It's not me it's God loving her through me. God's Love is far better than any Romantic love could be. cuz Romantic love dies. Romantic love can walk away and not look back. I remember how in-love I was and it still makes me cry. That wonderful man I dated and got engaged too. I hope I see him in the after life, if he ever exsisted. So far my True love in this life. But Romantic love dies and when that happens you have to hold onto God and what God can give you. It's true I have no Fear in Death. I know that on the other side there will be no pain, no heart ache, happiness and Joy. I get a new body! I get to see Jesus and be with God the Father! That's real love to me. I don't know what love for a child is like since I'm not a Mother. I'm an Aunt and I adore all those children beyond words. The closest thing i have to Motherhood. I've helped raise a baby over this past year. Riley has been such a blessing to me. I have adopted her in my heart! She's a precious 14 month old that drives me nuts some times! I have just so much running through my head. I'm going to focus on going back to school, eventually buying a small house and trying to become a Foster Parent and hopefully adopting that way. I don't believe I need to give birth to be a mom even thought I'd like one biological child. To give birth would be the icing on the cake but I don't put my hope in it actually happening. I hope for what is plausable. I know God will take care of me and I know where I'm going so just live day to day is how I make it in this world.

long time no blog

hello my fellow readers it's been awhile. I was so ready to write uou in peace but a toddler now controls my life. You'd think if you had to be up and at work at 8 you go to bed at 11:40 but no still up and as loud as ever. So I've retreated to my room. None to happy either. I am single and planning on staying that way for a long time. I don't feel the need to cater my life to someone elses child. One night it took me 6 hours to get through 3 episodes of Grey's Anatomy which I'm watching from the begining on Lifetime. In season 3 right now. And to Mary and Andy who told me to blog today, Meredith never looked at Webber as a Father figure. Only someone who knew her Mother as well as she did. She didn't even know of their affair till season 2! There are you happy now!! I'm blogging just for you. A FYI the baby is still crying and so loud I can hear her cry. I'm so tired of it. So I go to my room so I don't have to deal with it. SueAnn comes to my door to ask why I'm so grumpy. I tell her and she rolls her eye. So I go to my room so we don't fight again and shes still not happy. Hey I'm not the one who said she needed to go to bed only to let her play in the livingroom. I hope for the sake of our friendship she moves out at the ens of the month. I don't agree with some of her parenting. Ok on to another topic. Reading! Yeah after a few years of not reading consistanly I'm going to read more. I have 22 books I want to read in the next 2 years. Some are religious, some are click lit and thrillers. AKA Hunger Games. Going to read it before I see it. I became a book worm about 10 years ago but due to my 1st round of unemployment and working at WF I didn't have much time to read. Then when I went to the beach house in November I read a Christian book and started another. It was fabulous spending the whole day in the sun and reading! So I'll let you know what I'm reading. Right now it's Mini Shopaholic from the Confessions of a Shopaholic series. I love Beaky Bloomwood! I am Becky Bloomwood! Ok another topic. I'm going back to school! Unemployment will pay for it if I got to DMACC! So going back to get my AA in Business Admin or HR managment, not sure which yet. Register in a couple weeks and got back in May. I can only say I'm working part time but can't say where. I'm also selling Usborne books now along with Mary Kay. I'm also getting another tattoo on my leg where I got one of the cross last time. Hoping to go to Mexico for my Birthday in April with some of my besties! So I'm living my life! Enjoying singleness, could care less if I get married again. Relationships are overrated. I'ved had nothing but bad ones and men not worth my time. I'm happy single. I do plan on adopting though! Oh and I have a wonderful new small group through church!! Love my group! Update about them another time! Bye my readers God Bless!