I've been busy!

I've been busy since the last time I blogged. I just didn't feel like blogging cuz it felt like the same subject every time. I'm still in school full time. Working toward a  B.S. in Psychology and then a PH. D in Psychology. I want to become a Marriage and Sex Therapist. I want to do everything I can in the field of psychology. It's always been a dream of mine. Now I'm trying to make it happen. The Roommate moved out after I had enough of her not paying for anything and using me. I got tired of living with a toddler that's not mine and paying for her as well. The Ex roommate still owes me money but I probably will never see it again. I took her in with the kindness of my heart only to be used. She and I don't speak anymore.
Still single, yes I know shocking. I have spent the better part of the last 7 months with an Ex BF of mine who needed a friend while he battles addiction. Things went well for awhile but he's falling off the wagon and pushed me away. I also was quitely dating a guy from a small town North of here but I ended that recently cuz he's not ready for a serious relationship and we want different things.
I got a new couch cuz my old one was literally falling apart. Literally put a hole in the way behind it.
I've been reading a lot, doing water aerobices, got a new tattoo on my right ankle. Got a Tablet! Just trying to accept being single when I felt so close to moving on to relationship life.
I did chop off 9 inches of hair last week! Felt liberating.
Well not much else to share, Like I said life is boring and drama free for once.
God Bless and hope everyone is doing ok!

For Mary and Andy!

Howdy Ho neighbor Joe, it's been almost 5 months since I've updated. I finished my Summer Semester with 2 B's and a C! Best Semester ever!! I love being back in school! It's been quite the experience! So I took World Religion, Human Anatomy and Medical Terminology. I really enjoyed all my classes and my professors. I start a week from yesterday for Fall Semester. I have 6 classes on this schedule. I'm gona be super busy. I am a full time student and not working. WIA is paying for school and I got financial aid. So I'm putting all my focus on school! Working on AA in Human Services. Going to try to get in the Surgical Technology program. Right now I'm taking all the prerequisites for Surg Tech. Also thinking about continuing on to get a BA in Psychology. I kinda think I should be the next Dr. Ruth! I just love being back school. Something about being in my 30's and being more confident in my self. MY Faith has had a lot to do with that to. As I blog this I'm using my very 1st lap top! Finally after years and years of borrowing others computers  have my own!! I'm thrilled! I've been traveling a lot too. 2 weeks in May I was down in Mexico at the beach house and I rode a ATV for the 1st time. I'm addicted to it. So relaxing, I just rode all over the desert and forgot about the world. Too bad Kermit, I named it that cuz it's green, kept breaking. the gear shift and transmission stuff. I had 2 fabulous weeks before summer semester started. Now I'm on Summer Break. Last week I went to Wisconsin Dells for the 1st time. spent 3 days up there. FABULOUS!!! Water park capitol of the world. Went to see several of the attractions and went to 2 water park. it was rainy the 2 full days we were there but we made the best of it. I'm currently sitting in my Besties kitchen/living room in Minnesota. I' up here to just veg and catch up. We may go up to the twin cities over the weekend. I'm getting a massage in a couple hours. Hunger Games cones out on Blu-Ray tomorrow! Hopefully go to the Minnesota Zoo! We'll see. Going home Tuesday. There's two new pets since the last time I was up here. Libby, Mary's old dag passed away in April. Now they added Tank a pure breed Lab and Duchess, a calico cat. I'm in love with Duchess already. Tank is only 5 1/2 months and is huge, living up to his name!!!  Lets see... I read the 50 Shades of Grey trilogy but wasn't impressed or obsessed with it like so many women are. Christian Grey didn't appeal to me at all. Took me 2 months to finish the last book, it was that bad. The Hunger Games Trilogy though was fabulous! Well that's about it for now. Later!

school, minnesota, hunger games, tattoo's....

Oh it's been awhile since I updated. I registered for school last week! I'm still deciding between buz admin, legal assistant and crap cant remember the other one right now. I'm waiting for Unemployment to accept it and pay for it. Start May 22nd. So excited. I'm enjoying life not waiting for a man to show up. Relationships are over rated any ways! I'm really independant emotionally so it's fine. I love alone time like days at a time alone! So just looking forward to school! I just spent a weekend up in Minnesota to see Mary last weekend! 3 days! I love her house! The bedroom downstairs aka Alec's room is wonderful and a perfect place to hide out but that didn't last long. Mary kept coming down to see why I was in my room. We were on the go most of the weekend. From IKEA, Mall of America and everywhere inbetween. I ate splendidly all weekend as well. Meats ans veggiies! Not junk food! The 3 hour drive alone is the only part I don't like. Road trips are better with others. Love going up there so peaceful and if I had a house like that I'd never leave. While I was there I started reading the Hunger Games. It is utterly brilliant. Half way through the book and can't wait to see the movie. Katniss Everdeen is a heroine just like Hermione Granger. Both Series are amazing. I realized why I think Twilight is so bad. Bella is a whiny, insecure, needy, apparently needs a man to fill whole. Horrible example to young girls, teens and young adult women. The twilight story is week and lame and it doesn't compare to Harry Potter and Hunger Games. So I got my 3rd tattoo 3 weeks ago! It's a PCOS butterfly on my left caf on the side of my leg! I have 4 more tats I want to get. All which will glorify God! I want all my tats to be meaningful and spirutual. Not something stupid I'll regret later.

4 years Single

So just a few days ago marked my day of Rebirth. The day I ended my marriage. 4 years later I seem to be in a completely different place. No wanting to continue in trying to find love and getting remarried. I don't care anymore and have decided that wont be what defines me or my life. I had such High hopes that after it feel apart it wouldn't be hard for me to find anyone and move on and get married. Ha it's been a horrible couple years of dating and another reason for me to just stop caring. I honestly stopped believing there is a guy out there who believes what I believe and wants what I want. This may seem bitter what I'm writing and maybe it is but I had such High hopes that it was just Him and not all men could be like that. That there were men who believed in Marriage what it truely is. Ok I know they exsist cuz my Friends are married to them. My Friends through church I mean. Trust me I know friends with some real pieces of work other halves. I just don't believe it's for me anymore. I still believe in Love but not that Romantic love. Agape Love is what I believe in and Agape Love is the Love of Christ for those who don't know. It's unconditional Love. God is the only real Love I'll experince in this fallen world. Cuz the Love I get from family and friends comes from that Agape love. Agape love is how we tolorate people who drive us crazy like my roommate and me. We are so close we fight horribly but then we make up. cuz we love each other. She says I'm one of the only people who's truly cared about her. It's not me it's God loving her through me. God's Love is far better than any Romantic love could be. cuz Romantic love dies. Romantic love can walk away and not look back. I remember how in-love I was and it still makes me cry. That wonderful man I dated and got engaged too. I hope I see him in the after life, if he ever exsisted. So far my True love in this life. But Romantic love dies and when that happens you have to hold onto God and what God can give you. It's true I have no Fear in Death. I know that on the other side there will be no pain, no heart ache, happiness and Joy. I get a new body! I get to see Jesus and be with God the Father! That's real love to me. I don't know what love for a child is like since I'm not a Mother. I'm an Aunt and I adore all those children beyond words. The closest thing i have to Motherhood. I've helped raise a baby over this past year. Riley has been such a blessing to me. I have adopted her in my heart! She's a precious 14 month old that drives me nuts some times! I have just so much running through my head. I'm going to focus on going back to school, eventually buying a small house and trying to become a Foster Parent and hopefully adopting that way. I don't believe I need to give birth to be a mom even thought I'd like one biological child. To give birth would be the icing on the cake but I don't put my hope in it actually happening. I hope for what is plausable. I know God will take care of me and I know where I'm going so just live day to day is how I make it in this world.

long time no blog

hello my fellow readers it's been awhile. I was so ready to write uou in peace but a toddler now controls my life. You'd think if you had to be up and at work at 8 you go to bed at 11:40 but no still up and as loud as ever. So I've retreated to my room. None to happy either. I am single and planning on staying that way for a long time. I don't feel the need to cater my life to someone elses child. One night it took me 6 hours to get through 3 episodes of Grey's Anatomy which I'm watching from the begining on Lifetime. In season 3 right now. And to Mary and Andy who told me to blog today, Meredith never looked at Webber as a Father figure. Only someone who knew her Mother as well as she did. She didn't even know of their affair till season 2! There are you happy now!! I'm blogging just for you. A FYI the baby is still crying and so loud I can hear her cry. I'm so tired of it. So I go to my room so I don't have to deal with it. SueAnn comes to my door to ask why I'm so grumpy. I tell her and she rolls her eye. So I go to my room so we don't fight again and shes still not happy. Hey I'm not the one who said she needed to go to bed only to let her play in the livingroom. I hope for the sake of our friendship she moves out at the ens of the month. I don't agree with some of her parenting. Ok on to another topic. Reading! Yeah after a few years of not reading consistanly I'm going to read more. I have 22 books I want to read in the next 2 years. Some are religious, some are click lit and thrillers. AKA Hunger Games. Going to read it before I see it. I became a book worm about 10 years ago but due to my 1st round of unemployment and working at WF I didn't have much time to read. Then when I went to the beach house in November I read a Christian book and started another. It was fabulous spending the whole day in the sun and reading! So I'll let you know what I'm reading. Right now it's Mini Shopaholic from the Confessions of a Shopaholic series. I love Beaky Bloomwood! I am Becky Bloomwood! Ok another topic. I'm going back to school! Unemployment will pay for it if I got to DMACC! So going back to get my AA in Business Admin or HR managment, not sure which yet. Register in a couple weeks and got back in May. I can only say I'm working part time but can't say where. I'm also selling Usborne books now along with Mary Kay. I'm also getting another tattoo on my leg where I got one of the cross last time. Hoping to go to Mexico for my Birthday in April with some of my besties! So I'm living my life! Enjoying singleness, could care less if I get married again. Relationships are overrated. I'ved had nothing but bad ones and men not worth my time. I'm happy single. I do plan on adopting though! Oh and I have a wonderful new small group through church!! Love my group! Update about them another time! Bye my readers God Bless!

Valentine's Day!!

So another Valentine's Day is over. This year was a very good one. No I didn't have a Hot date. I had a great night with some wonderful Sisters In Christ! Susie Q, Rose, Debi and just met Kim. We had mexican and margarita's and went to see The Vow. Which was sadly a let down. Spoiler alert....... Most of the Movie Rachel McAdams charater is spoiled and rude. She reverts back to her former self whom her Husband had never met. We get a short glimps into their marriage and love story and it's a good one! But then there's the accident and she can't remember her husband and it's gut wrenching to watch him try to make her love him again when all she wants to do is live like it's 5 years ago before they met. They divorce and go seprate ways only for her to slow find her way back tp who she was in Chicago and back to him. The movie ends showing the real life couple and their 2 children. She never did get her memory back. For me personaly it just got to close to home for me. Especially the part of trying to get her to love him again and the divorce. Just was so too real for me. My 16 month marriage was of me trying to make him love me and the Old Jason to come back. The Jason I dated and the Jason I was married were two completely different people. I was so in love with the Jason I dated. I was swept off my feet in-love. Really mad crazy love. That guy was the Love of my life. I've been thinking about him a lot lately. Lots of different things have brought up memories. I still love Him.whether or not he was ever real I wont know but I know it was real for me. Commiting my self to Him. Loving Him. Just a shame the fair tale didn't last past the Honeymoon and then turned into a living nightmare. But now I try to remember the Love I had and the bad parts are fading. I'm just being content. I need to live in God's Will and trust. Maybe I will only get that one love in my life. Yes I've loved other Men but I'm talking about that Deep love that you can't wait to marry them and spend your life together. I may never find anyone else to love like that but I'm not going to give up my dream of Motherhood yet. Whether I adopted or be a Foster Mother and yes even if I falled and got pregnant out of wed lock I'd have the baby after what happened the last time. I can't see the future but I will keep hoping for Motherhood!

social networking overload!

Between Facebook, Twitter, Blogspot, Foursquare and Pintrest.... Wow it's an overload! I'm on my phone so much. I'm super tired from my back. I had it adjusted by Dr. Laura, she said my pelvis was tilted. Then I got a massage from my fellow LMT ( licenced massage therapist) who has been giving me free massages for 7 years! I was in a lot of pain. Have no clue how I pulled out my back so bad. It's just been exhausting to my body. * still job hunting. Had the interview with the law firm last Thursday and have another interview tomorrow. Just trying to be still in trust God. Being still seems to be the only way to keep me sane. Being still about finding a job, being single, PCOS and life in general. It's seriously helping. There's a reason why Jesus says not to worry about tomorrow. Because tomorrow is promised. Live for today and the moment. Tomorrow may not be there. Focus on now and not what may or may not be. Someone keeps bringing up retirment to me. That's close to 40 years. How can I think that far ahead. I don't know where I'll be next week. I was unemployed this time 2 years ago so life is ever changing and unpridictable. So live today and let tomorow worry about its self. * I'm just kind of numbed emotionally right now. Finally know who I am but no clue where my life is going. If God has a bigger plan for me than M&C then by all means show it to me. I want to help others but I don't know how and where to start. Maybe thats why most of my adult working life has been c/s jobs. Now I'm rambling. * got some new bras from Lane Bryant. Fit like a glove! They are the Cushion Cut Balconette bar! Amazing hold, fit and lift. If you've got Honkers like mine you know how important that is. * well thats it for now. God Bless!