For Mary and Andy!

Howdy Ho neighbor Joe, it's been almost 5 months since I've updated. I finished my Summer Semester with 2 B's and a C! Best Semester ever!! I love being back in school! It's been quite the experience! So I took World Religion, Human Anatomy and Medical Terminology. I really enjoyed all my classes and my professors. I start a week from yesterday for Fall Semester. I have 6 classes on this schedule. I'm gona be super busy. I am a full time student and not working. WIA is paying for school and I got financial aid. So I'm putting all my focus on school! Working on AA in Human Services. Going to try to get in the Surgical Technology program. Right now I'm taking all the prerequisites for Surg Tech. Also thinking about continuing on to get a BA in Psychology. I kinda think I should be the next Dr. Ruth! I just love being back school. Something about being in my 30's and being more confident in my self. MY Faith has had a lot to do with that to. As I blog this I'm using my very 1st lap top! Finally after years and years of borrowing others computers  have my own!! I'm thrilled! I've been traveling a lot too. 2 weeks in May I was down in Mexico at the beach house and I rode a ATV for the 1st time. I'm addicted to it. So relaxing, I just rode all over the desert and forgot about the world. Too bad Kermit, I named it that cuz it's green, kept breaking. the gear shift and transmission stuff. I had 2 fabulous weeks before summer semester started. Now I'm on Summer Break. Last week I went to Wisconsin Dells for the 1st time. spent 3 days up there. FABULOUS!!! Water park capitol of the world. Went to see several of the attractions and went to 2 water park. it was rainy the 2 full days we were there but we made the best of it. I'm currently sitting in my Besties kitchen/living room in Minnesota. I' up here to just veg and catch up. We may go up to the twin cities over the weekend. I'm getting a massage in a couple hours. Hunger Games cones out on Blu-Ray tomorrow! Hopefully go to the Minnesota Zoo! We'll see. Going home Tuesday. There's two new pets since the last time I was up here. Libby, Mary's old dag passed away in April. Now they added Tank a pure breed Lab and Duchess, a calico cat. I'm in love with Duchess already. Tank is only 5 1/2 months and is huge, living up to his name!!!  Lets see... I read the 50 Shades of Grey trilogy but wasn't impressed or obsessed with it like so many women are. Christian Grey didn't appeal to me at all. Took me 2 months to finish the last book, it was that bad. The Hunger Games Trilogy though was fabulous! Well that's about it for now. Later!

school, minnesota, hunger games, tattoo's....

Oh it's been awhile since I updated. I registered for school last week! I'm still deciding between buz admin, legal assistant and crap cant remember the other one right now. I'm waiting for Unemployment to accept it and pay for it. Start May 22nd. So excited. I'm enjoying life not waiting for a man to show up. Relationships are over rated any ways! I'm really independant emotionally so it's fine. I love alone time like days at a time alone! So just looking forward to school! I just spent a weekend up in Minnesota to see Mary last weekend! 3 days! I love her house! The bedroom downstairs aka Alec's room is wonderful and a perfect place to hide out but that didn't last long. Mary kept coming down to see why I was in my room. We were on the go most of the weekend. From IKEA, Mall of America and everywhere inbetween. I ate splendidly all weekend as well. Meats ans veggiies! Not junk food! The 3 hour drive alone is the only part I don't like. Road trips are better with others. Love going up there so peaceful and if I had a house like that I'd never leave. While I was there I started reading the Hunger Games. It is utterly brilliant. Half way through the book and can't wait to see the movie. Katniss Everdeen is a heroine just like Hermione Granger. Both Series are amazing. I realized why I think Twilight is so bad. Bella is a whiny, insecure, needy, apparently needs a man to fill whole. Horrible example to young girls, teens and young adult women. The twilight story is week and lame and it doesn't compare to Harry Potter and Hunger Games. So I got my 3rd tattoo 3 weeks ago! It's a PCOS butterfly on my left caf on the side of my leg! I have 4 more tats I want to get. All which will glorify God! I want all my tats to be meaningful and spirutual. Not something stupid I'll regret later.

4 years Single

So just a few days ago marked my day of Rebirth. The day I ended my marriage. 4 years later I seem to be in a completely different place. No wanting to continue in trying to find love and getting remarried. I don't care anymore and have decided that wont be what defines me or my life. I had such High hopes that after it feel apart it wouldn't be hard for me to find anyone and move on and get married. Ha it's been a horrible couple years of dating and another reason for me to just stop caring. I honestly stopped believing there is a guy out there who believes what I believe and wants what I want. This may seem bitter what I'm writing and maybe it is but I had such High hopes that it was just Him and not all men could be like that. That there were men who believed in Marriage what it truely is. Ok I know they exsist cuz my Friends are married to them. My Friends through church I mean. Trust me I know friends with some real pieces of work other halves. I just don't believe it's for me anymore. I still believe in Love but not that Romantic love. Agape Love is what I believe in and Agape Love is the Love of Christ for those who don't know. It's unconditional Love. God is the only real Love I'll experince in this fallen world. Cuz the Love I get from family and friends comes from that Agape love. Agape love is how we tolorate people who drive us crazy like my roommate and me. We are so close we fight horribly but then we make up. cuz we love each other. She says I'm one of the only people who's truly cared about her. It's not me it's God loving her through me. God's Love is far better than any Romantic love could be. cuz Romantic love dies. Romantic love can walk away and not look back. I remember how in-love I was and it still makes me cry. That wonderful man I dated and got engaged too. I hope I see him in the after life, if he ever exsisted. So far my True love in this life. But Romantic love dies and when that happens you have to hold onto God and what God can give you. It's true I have no Fear in Death. I know that on the other side there will be no pain, no heart ache, happiness and Joy. I get a new body! I get to see Jesus and be with God the Father! That's real love to me. I don't know what love for a child is like since I'm not a Mother. I'm an Aunt and I adore all those children beyond words. The closest thing i have to Motherhood. I've helped raise a baby over this past year. Riley has been such a blessing to me. I have adopted her in my heart! She's a precious 14 month old that drives me nuts some times! I have just so much running through my head. I'm going to focus on going back to school, eventually buying a small house and trying to become a Foster Parent and hopefully adopting that way. I don't believe I need to give birth to be a mom even thought I'd like one biological child. To give birth would be the icing on the cake but I don't put my hope in it actually happening. I hope for what is plausable. I know God will take care of me and I know where I'm going so just live day to day is how I make it in this world.

long time no blog

hello my fellow readers it's been awhile. I was so ready to write uou in peace but a toddler now controls my life. You'd think if you had to be up and at work at 8 you go to bed at 11:40 but no still up and as loud as ever. So I've retreated to my room. None to happy either. I am single and planning on staying that way for a long time. I don't feel the need to cater my life to someone elses child. One night it took me 6 hours to get through 3 episodes of Grey's Anatomy which I'm watching from the begining on Lifetime. In season 3 right now. And to Mary and Andy who told me to blog today, Meredith never looked at Webber as a Father figure. Only someone who knew her Mother as well as she did. She didn't even know of their affair till season 2! There are you happy now!! I'm blogging just for you. A FYI the baby is still crying and so loud I can hear her cry. I'm so tired of it. So I go to my room so I don't have to deal with it. SueAnn comes to my door to ask why I'm so grumpy. I tell her and she rolls her eye. So I go to my room so we don't fight again and shes still not happy. Hey I'm not the one who said she needed to go to bed only to let her play in the livingroom. I hope for the sake of our friendship she moves out at the ens of the month. I don't agree with some of her parenting. Ok on to another topic. Reading! Yeah after a few years of not reading consistanly I'm going to read more. I have 22 books I want to read in the next 2 years. Some are religious, some are click lit and thrillers. AKA Hunger Games. Going to read it before I see it. I became a book worm about 10 years ago but due to my 1st round of unemployment and working at WF I didn't have much time to read. Then when I went to the beach house in November I read a Christian book and started another. It was fabulous spending the whole day in the sun and reading! So I'll let you know what I'm reading. Right now it's Mini Shopaholic from the Confessions of a Shopaholic series. I love Beaky Bloomwood! I am Becky Bloomwood! Ok another topic. I'm going back to school! Unemployment will pay for it if I got to DMACC! So going back to get my AA in Business Admin or HR managment, not sure which yet. Register in a couple weeks and got back in May. I can only say I'm working part time but can't say where. I'm also selling Usborne books now along with Mary Kay. I'm also getting another tattoo on my leg where I got one of the cross last time. Hoping to go to Mexico for my Birthday in April with some of my besties! So I'm living my life! Enjoying singleness, could care less if I get married again. Relationships are overrated. I'ved had nothing but bad ones and men not worth my time. I'm happy single. I do plan on adopting though! Oh and I have a wonderful new small group through church!! Love my group! Update about them another time! Bye my readers God Bless!

Valentine's Day!!

So another Valentine's Day is over. This year was a very good one. No I didn't have a Hot date. I had a great night with some wonderful Sisters In Christ! Susie Q, Rose, Debi and just met Kim. We had mexican and margarita's and went to see The Vow. Which was sadly a let down. Spoiler alert....... Most of the Movie Rachel McAdams charater is spoiled and rude. She reverts back to her former self whom her Husband had never met. We get a short glimps into their marriage and love story and it's a good one! But then there's the accident and she can't remember her husband and it's gut wrenching to watch him try to make her love him again when all she wants to do is live like it's 5 years ago before they met. They divorce and go seprate ways only for her to slow find her way back tp who she was in Chicago and back to him. The movie ends showing the real life couple and their 2 children. She never did get her memory back. For me personaly it just got to close to home for me. Especially the part of trying to get her to love him again and the divorce. Just was so too real for me. My 16 month marriage was of me trying to make him love me and the Old Jason to come back. The Jason I dated and the Jason I was married were two completely different people. I was so in love with the Jason I dated. I was swept off my feet in-love. Really mad crazy love. That guy was the Love of my life. I've been thinking about him a lot lately. Lots of different things have brought up memories. I still love Him.whether or not he was ever real I wont know but I know it was real for me. Commiting my self to Him. Loving Him. Just a shame the fair tale didn't last past the Honeymoon and then turned into a living nightmare. But now I try to remember the Love I had and the bad parts are fading. I'm just being content. I need to live in God's Will and trust. Maybe I will only get that one love in my life. Yes I've loved other Men but I'm talking about that Deep love that you can't wait to marry them and spend your life together. I may never find anyone else to love like that but I'm not going to give up my dream of Motherhood yet. Whether I adopted or be a Foster Mother and yes even if I falled and got pregnant out of wed lock I'd have the baby after what happened the last time. I can't see the future but I will keep hoping for Motherhood!

social networking overload!

Between Facebook, Twitter, Blogspot, Foursquare and Pintrest.... Wow it's an overload! I'm on my phone so much. I'm super tired from my back. I had it adjusted by Dr. Laura, she said my pelvis was tilted. Then I got a massage from my fellow LMT ( licenced massage therapist) who has been giving me free massages for 7 years! I was in a lot of pain. Have no clue how I pulled out my back so bad. It's just been exhausting to my body. * still job hunting. Had the interview with the law firm last Thursday and have another interview tomorrow. Just trying to be still in trust God. Being still seems to be the only way to keep me sane. Being still about finding a job, being single, PCOS and life in general. It's seriously helping. There's a reason why Jesus says not to worry about tomorrow. Because tomorrow is promised. Live for today and the moment. Tomorrow may not be there. Focus on now and not what may or may not be. Someone keeps bringing up retirment to me. That's close to 40 years. How can I think that far ahead. I don't know where I'll be next week. I was unemployed this time 2 years ago so life is ever changing and unpridictable. So live today and let tomorow worry about its self. * I'm just kind of numbed emotionally right now. Finally know who I am but no clue where my life is going. If God has a bigger plan for me than M&C then by all means show it to me. I want to help others but I don't know how and where to start. Maybe thats why most of my adult working life has been c/s jobs. Now I'm rambling. * got some new bras from Lane Bryant. Fit like a glove! They are the Cushion Cut Balconette bar! Amazing hold, fit and lift. If you've got Honkers like mine you know how important that is. * well thats it for now. God Bless!

Northfield, MN!!

Well today was our last full day here. Mary and I head back down to Des Moines tomorrow. Movers are coming on Monday to Mary's old house. She comes back up Wednesday. I don't see my self last very long before I come up again. This feels like home to me as well. I already know my way around town! Way before Mary did! I have been here before in 99. My old friend Holly went to St. Olaf which is one of the 2 colleges in town. The other is Carleton College. This is a very pretty town. 20,007 population. Plenty of places to eat and a Target so We wont be too bored. Also about 40 minutes from the Twin Cities and MOA!! I am in-love! Currently sitting on the Hide-a-bed in the basement! It's Fabulous! 2 Bedrooms and a very big open space for all the kids to play in. Olivia, Logan and Bella are Andy's Kids! Alec is Mary's Son but he's in College at Drake. Mary is uber proud of her one and only Son! Today we finished moving stuff from Andy's old place and then Mary and I took a long nap! Then We went to dinner, Target and Cub Foods! I shopped by self to give them some space! They were so happy talking about their first meal at home Wednesday night so I let them be in the store! Mary has been dreaming of a house like this for years. A single Mom for so many years, she never dreamed it could happen. I got them some Candles from Target as a house warming gift! Target now has their own line of Yankee candles! I love the Blooming Jasmine! I just took a bath in their new whirlpool in the bathroom upstairs! Used some epsom salts that smelled so good! Used the jets and the water was steaming! FABULOUS!!! I'm relaxed, lotioned up ( ladies it's important!) I'm gona knitted more baby hats and watch Zookeeper! Not looking forward to going back to 8 inches of snow. I'll be back up in a few weeks I bet and We'll go up to the Twin Cities then. Too tired today to do anything. God bless!

Minne-soooooo-TA!!!!!

Ok so I'm sitting in Mary's in livingroom. No furniture yet. But we have the DirecTv guy installing 6 TV's. 4 Flats screens! The ovan is self cleaning and the fumes are making me dizzy! We met the previous owners. She's from Poland and a georgous stick figure! Mary had one of Andy's friends come over to meet me cuz she though we"d be a great pair. Ok now I'm 31 and will be 32 in a couple of Months, Derf ( Fred spelled backwards) is Andy's friend. He comes over and talks with a think Wisconsin accent which cracked me up. Well I'm not really excited about dating or meeting anyone right now. Derf is 48 and has a daughter. Flat out said he didn't want anymore. Seriously Mary, ya need to find out this info before deciding to introduce me to guys! KATE wants Babies if I even decided to go down the marriage path again. After all the failed attempts of dating and marriage I'm kaput! So unless he's truely a Man of God and wants what I want I'm not interested. No 48 year old wants to start a new family. She loves me dearly and I know if I do have babies she's their God Mother no doubt! She'll be in the freaking delievery room! So This house is amazing! 5 years old, 3006 sq feet! 5 bedroom, 3 bath! Ranch style big open livingroom with kitchen! The Master Bath and closet are to die for the the Bath downstairs tooks like a spa! Tonight We're going to look for a new kitch table and a sectional for the livingroom! I honestly am Jealous of this house and this neighborhood! It's Fabulous!!! I'm so thrilled for Mary cuz she never thought she would ever live in a house like this! Everything looks brand new. Granite counters in the kitchen! Oak cabinets and triming everywhere. I'm so glad I have weekend vacation spot now. Mary is definatly a Lifetime Friend. She's like my BFF Tammy in SLC. We don't have to talk constanly or see each other but when we do We start up where left off. Thats a good friendship! Mary has been a wonderful friend to me since we met at WFHM training. Well actually we didn't like each other in training but became friends after. So far this weekend has been busy. I've seen a lot of place and I love the area up here but dang it's cold out!!! I'm freezing and I never say that!! I'm not a fan of cold or being up North where it is cold. This are is beautiful but I prefer my Desert and dry heat down in Phoenix!!! I bet it's georgous up here during summers. I know Wisconsin was. I miss Wisconsin. I was a honoray Wisconsinite for 3 1/2 years. Well Thats it for today. Probably heading up to the Twin Cities tomorrow to do more shopping, show Mary the MOA and have dinner!! God Bless

This and That

I am simply exhausted. I think in life we have to go from one thing to another and it just takes it toll on each of us. I'm so exhausted and my body is feeling it. My Fibromyaligia is killing me. I woke up today and my sacrum is in so much pain. That would be the lower part of the spine. I hurt so bad right now. I usually don't complain and man I haven't had this kind of pain ever. I'm wearing a back pain reliever patch and it's barely working. I had to get up early to take some family to the airport and I had to rescheduled my interview to tomorrow. I need to pack for my trip tomorrow. I need to take a muscle relaxer when I get home. I'm job hunting and surfing the net. I just don't have too much to talk about. Just ready to have my interview tomorrow and head up to Minnesota tomorrow. Mary is gona try to set up with a Guy Friend of her Husband. Like I said... I am not interested in dating but I guess I can't get away from it. I have a crush on someone but I don't think he knows it or feels the same way. So I go on. Ah life it's aways turning and changing. Ok talk to you later, probably in Minnesota!

Lots and Lots of Babies!

Well if you don't know me well then you don't know how in-love I am with Babies from Birth to lets say age 8. I LOVE BABIES!! Well just watching Tori and Dean season finale and they named the baby Hattie. Tori said they googled old fashion baby names. That's how they found the name. I googled it too and found 2 more Girls names to my list. 1 I'd never heard before and I doubt I ever will. Yes I know I'm eternally single Kate but that doesn't mean I can Adopt ( even with my mother telling me to go to a sperm bank. Yes she seriously does) I've always wanted to Adopt and especially after my Best Friend Kelly Vloedman died in 8th grade. She was Adopted. I plan on Honoring her by using her name as either a first or middle name. Not sure yet. Also Jayne after my Aunt who died of breast cancer. The 2 new names I found will be kept private. I would love to have at least one Biological child and love to adopt one also. I don't feel the need to give birth to be a Mother. I feel that given birth doesn't quailfy a women as a Mother. Crack Whores can give birth but that doesn't mean they are Mothers. I know Mothers that complain about their children and even act like they are a annoyance in their life. I think that is my biggest annoyance to me. Reading FB updates about how their are driving them crazy and then another friend is so sad and distraught about not being able TTC ( trying to concieve) SueAnn adores Riley and I'm so happy that her baby has changed her and gotten her on the right path. I just know now that if I have children I'm going to be much older and have a much better apprication for waiting so long. I know my self so much better. I know what kind of parent I would be after helping so many friends with their kids. Like what I wont do. All 3 of my siblings are so far the best parents I know. All my nieces and nephews are so well behaved. They have manners! They listen to directions and in all the times I've helped watch them I never had major problems. My siblings are doing a great job. My parents did a wonderful job raising all of us. Being the Black Sheep I still ended up pretty good. None us ever had drug problem, legal problems, no teen pregnancies! We all have good morals and now and none of us smoke. It's called tough love ya'll! I'm still teriffied of my Dad! The Dude is scary! You just didn't and don't F with my parents. I love my parents. They have taken care of me through this roller coaster of a life. My Sister and I are gettinvg really close. My family is close! I love all my babies and they love their Aunt Trini ( family nickname. No you can't call me that) I just hope to add to the family wether it's a nucular family or adoption. Lord hear my prayers! Babies are my heart.

Going to Minnesota redue

Yikes I accidently deleted the orginal blog from earlier today! So I'm going to Minnesota with my BFF Mary to help her move and shop for her new house. She's moving for her work and so her and her Husband can live under the same roof. I'm sad she's going but I know that she's a bestie for life! I'm excited to see the new house with her! Her and her husband just got back from Aruba. I saw the pics. So jealous! Also got approved for unemployment today so Praise Jesus and thank you for answering my prayer! I know I wrote a lot more. Great job interview with a head hunter for a Foreclouser Law Firm. Hope to hear back! Can't wait for Minnesota! Will have to check out the MOA!

1 Thessalonians 5:17

Every day, make it your prayer as you go through the day. Remember to keep God in your thoughts, your focus. Every day, I will pray and pray and praise and praise. My prayers will not cease. My hope is intact, and my life is covered. (1 Thessalonians 5:17)

Psalm 46:10

Be still, and know that I am God. My favorite Scripture. So Simple and profound yet so hard to do. To be still. To trust. To have Faith that God will take care of everything. As the scriptures say " My ways are not your ways and my thoughts are not your thoughts". Life can be so hard. There's so much Sin in the world. Some is by your own doing and some is by others. Trying every day trying not to let it effect you. To focus on God and not let money troubles, work troubles, health troubles, children, stress etc. I have such a heavy heart in general. I feel like I have to keep settling for a life that seems to be meteoaker from what I hoped it would be. Nothing has gone the way I planned. Sitting her daily praying to God about what he wants from me. Where am I supposed to go, to be. My heart is for Ministry yet I have no clue what to do. There's no signals of what to do or go?I have minimal college education. Didn't finish my Associates Degree at DMACC and got a massage licence but my body gave out. Something most of society doesn't get. The Human body wears and tears and breaks down like everything else. Giving a massage is a work out. So I've been doing customer service for years. Just brining in a pay check to pay my bills. Can't really say it's my dream. Massage was one but that's over. So I pray to God about where my career path may go. I already mentioned singleness.... Not my choice but it seems to be my Lot in life. I dated a lot in 2011 but 2012 I am seriously kaput. If a Godly man wants to persue me like he should then I'd think about it. But that's if one even wants me. I just so disgusted with dating. Sometimes I wonder what life would have been like if I'd gotten married in my early and poped out a few kids? Would I be happy. I want an Angle like the one in It's a Wonderful Life to come and show me what life would have been if Mike and I did get married at 22 like we'd planned back in the day. Well I will never know. Just like I'll never know what would have been if I'd moved with Jason to Wisconsin. I have to be still and know that God is God. I have no control. My life is in His hands. Trying to control anything is futile! So thats whats on my mind today.

Ok so the Single thing.... God really likes toying with me. I saw my High School Crush today ( granted I was boy crazy in High School. Valley was a smoraish board for Hot guys) but this was Thee crush. Thanks to A. Des Moines being small B. Keeping in contact with old Valley people I've beeninformed of His where abouts. Dispite shaving his head and looks like Mr. Clean. I don't dig that look at all. Well any ways sitting in my car outside the gym and i look up quick and a guy walks by cover from head to toe in Hawkeye stuff ( barf) and I see his face and know it's him. I see Him walk by and start shaking His head and I swear he has a smirk too. I know I'll never have him but Love it!come on God I didn't need to see him and bring out that feeling you get when you see someone you like! Not to mention he's kind of a jerk. But stupid me reverts back to 15!! Ahhhhhhhhhh 8'm trying not to think about Men period! Any ways since the Blog wont let me do paragraphs. It feel good to be back in the pool. I've been swimming since birth basically. Swam on swim team at Echo Valley and Wakonda counrty clubs growing up. I now wish I hadn't quit about 12 and stuck with it longer. Only sport I'm good at. Freestyle is my best stroke and I'm a sprinter type of swimmer not long distance. But the feeling of shooting of the wall and flying through the water like Super Man is the closest thing to flying I've experinced. I love the way the water feels on my body as I glide through it. I feel free and unaware of anything else. It's the best excersie out there. It's great therapy for my body with fibromyalgia and PCOS. The most I've swam is half a mile at one time in my adult years. Am trying to work back up to that. I love swimming and water. They water both calimng and theraputic! ........ I also took up knitting recently with knitting looms. It's also very theraputic and makes me feel like I'm accomplishing something. Currently knitting new born hats to donate to local maternity wards! It's my new hobbiesand I love it! All the yarns to chose from and all the different looms!! Never did I see my self ss a knitter!!....... So unemployed again. The last time was 9 1/2 months. I hope not that much longer now. Bit the last time I took a trip cross country to see my BFF Tammy on Salt Lake City! Drove 16 hours straight by my self! I loved SLC!! I felt like I wad home out there. The mountains where a comfort. I want to back out again but take the train this time! Do I'm dreaming of SLC!! OK that's all for now. God bless. P.S. there's still typos cuz of my phone. Sorry.

I love being a Woman!

Oh how I love being a Women! There's something about being the Glory of Creation! Yes Eve was the crown to God's creation so all women follow Eve! God's beauty on earth and Satan's prime Target. I may be a Plus size women but oh how I love my curves and embraced my inner and outer beauty! Took me 30 years. Yes I'm not happym with my belly and the lower half is repulive but I know know that's a symptom of Polocystic Ovarian Syndrom or PCOS. Even after the weight gain, acne, irregular cycles or none at all. Been since Oct since AF showed up. Even after all of that I still love it. Sure I pluck my chin daily and shave my upper lip. I still feel beautiful and I love taking care of my self! I love beauty products and have since I was little! My Mother always made fun of me. Well like Mother like Daughter. She's the Queen of beauty products. My favorite brands are of course Mary Kay ( I sell it and stand by how great it is) and now Avon. Both have quailty skin care and make up! You should the organizer in my bathroom. 5 drawers. 1st is hair 2nd is lotions 3rd is foundations 4th is eyes 5th is brushes and blushes! 6th is misc. I also am a purfume whore. I have close to 50 scents!!! I just love perfume! My wardrobe is all Lane Bryant! 9 Coach purses. Funny thing is I'm not huge into shoes. I lover heels but can't war em. Perfer cute black shoes that can go with anything. I love taking showers and the feeling after getting out of the shower, slapping on think face cream! The thicker the better ( That's what She said) sorry I had too! It's so important ladies to moisturize daily and use anti aging products! I started at 25. Lucky for me I got the Barnhill genes and look young any ways! I love the thick stuff. Once I turned 30 about 6 months in I noticed my face drying out quickly so now I pile on several different lotions, serums, creams and gels. Another product I can get enough of it cleansers. Again I was with 2! Exfoliate, cleans and smoothing are important in a cleanser. So I highly recommend Mary Kay Timewise collection or Avon Anew collections. I love Mascara, I probably have 20 in my drawer. Mary Kay Lash Love, Mark Lash All you want, Mary Kay Ultimate Mascara, and several others. I love have think black lashes! Ok so I hope you enjoyed my blog about beauty products! Gona watch movies!

living situation

So SueAnn and I have been trying to work out what is best in this situation. We have been getting along better since the blow up. She's going to be paying for Feb to my Dad. If we would continue to live together we'd need a bigger place to have more space. She's trying to figure out what to do finically. Her car about to die. Like I said we are friends but even friends can have figvhts even when living together. She's a OCD clean freak and it doesn't bother me if the blankets in the living room arn't folded. So she's staying through Feb. Right now we're running errands today. It helps I'm paid up again and she is working full time. A lot more time apart and more space for me. So we will see what will happen. She's weighting her moving options. That's all so "Write that Down" Van Wilder! Peace and God Bless!

Difference of Opinion

Everyone has their right to their own opinios. I've been known to share mine a time or two. So much I've ended relationships over it. Wether it is over politics, religion, sex, marriage, gay marriage, war, etc. Just engaged in a discussion with thr actress Holland Taylor on Tweeter about Abortion. I used be extremely Pro Choice that was until I made the Choice for my self. No one told me the after effects and what kind of impact it would have on me both physically and mentally. Please excuse the typos, my phone has a mind of It's own! I spent many years in a deep depression and self hatered. I had no idea the implacation it would have on me. I used to sit and wonder if my marriage sublequent divorce were my punishment for having the abortion. It took me 5 years to forgive me self. It took reading a book called the Atonment Child to heal and realize the implacations of Abortion. Roe vs. Wade will most likely never be reversed and as my Mom said she doesn't want women to go back to Back Ally or coat hanger abortions. Each women has to make up their minds. I want each of them to carefully inform thel selves of what having an Abortion is like. I took the Abortion Pill and it was like a miscarriage but it was tramatizing and lefct an impact cuz I knew what I was doing. Trying to save my ill fated future husband from leaving me. Paternity wase in question and people were coming at me on both sides. All I can say now is I was a nieve 24 year old. I can't go back but I can share my story and hope maybe a child and Mother will be saved from it. What I would give to have my child now. Now that I fear never having one due to PCOS. God hears my fears. Like my post before... I'm single and accepting it cuz it doesn't seem to be a reality for Marriage and Motherhood. So I will be content. I spent all of 2011 dating and realize it wasn't all it's cracked up to be. So God my life is yours and has been since 08. Trying to live for my self got me nowhere and fixating on it doen't help. Only makes me depressed. Lord I pray anyone who is pregnant and scared. May you find her and give her peace. Amen.

Single

I'm a Single Woman. I used to have a issue with saying those words but not anymore. Technically I'm a Divorced Woman. Atleast someone wanted me at one point. Yeah that's how I looked at it. Not anymore. I'm Single and proud of it. After a handful of bad relationships and one terrible marriage I don't really care anymore. The longer I'm alone the better I become at life! It's so hard to find someone who wants what you want. Someone who has the same values and beliefs as you. So after 31 years I just give up. I'm going to stop fighting it. I had always saw my self married with 5 kids. Now I sit in and ask my self is that really what you want? I just spent the last year helping a single Mom raise her baby. Maybe it's just me or is it all just not what's it's all cracked up to be. Am I too selfish in the long run for that type of life style? These are questions I've been pondering. I mean why hasn't God fullfilled those desires yet. Or are those desires fading cuz it is starting to feel more like a fantasy then reality? I'm single and I'm good at it. Being single isn't the problem it's giving up intimacy and sex. Some of you can't believe I just went there, especially my very faithful friends. But I ask you who are married now. Would you want to give it up once you've had it. There something special and amazing in Sex. It's about connection and love. Yes Love for those who think the 2 can be sperated. God created us to connected physically but he also created it to be in marriage. Kudo's to those who waited till marriage! You will be blessed I know! Back to my orginal thought. Single. It's not what it used to be. To me Single means being strong. Facing trails alone (except with God of course) I've been married so I've seen both sides. Even in thed worst marriage there still a sense of ..... Oh Lord the word is on the tip of my tounge. Security that's it! Security. You don't have that being Single. Being single you life is up in the Air. You don't know what's going tohappen ever! You don't feel like setting up a life like buying a home. It just doesn't make sense to me but as I'm getting older I've come to accept nothing will ever go the way you plan it. I should have 5 rug rats running around but I don't. I don't have a career. Currently unemployed. I've lived in the same place for 9 years. My life has had a lot of ups and downs but somethings do stay the same. Like being Single. It's something I'm good at. Which is good cuz I love me and being alone a lot with me. That may suprise many of you but most of my time I'm a introvert! Oh yeah I can be that crazy chick you all know in love but I love alone time. So in closing I'm single and it's not a bad thing. I'm also an Aunt, Christian, swimmer, knitter, Packers Fan, movie buff, book worm, music lover..... The list goes on. Until next time!

The Help

I just watched The Help. It brought out the Liberal side of me. Oh did I mention I was raise by a flaming liberal Mother, did I? Oh well yeah she is and I'm proud of her! She was a Jr in High School when Kennedy was shot. She married Dad 2 months early cuz he was drafted to Vietnam. So that being said she's a product of the 60's cuz her Father was a flaming Conservitive. How this movie made me mad. Granted it was 50 years ago but still. As a Christian it still gets to me. Why people think they are better than others because their race, creed, politics, religion, sex, sexual preferance is beyond me. We may have changed and now have a Black President in the Office but it's not his skin color that's always in question. It's his Father's religion and if he was born in the United States. So we still have prejudices even in the White House. So what if his father was Muslim. Islam wasn't respondsible for 9/11. Radical terrorist who practice there own religion that has nothing to do with what Mohammed wrote. So The Help is still very relevant in this day and age. Christ Him self said not to Judge other but to Love Each Other as He loved Us. If you are a Believer in Christ then you also know that we are all equal in God's eyes. Gal 3:28. So with that being said I thought the movie was brilliant.

I'm starving!!

Anyone else wake up so hungry they can't fall back asleep? I do all the time. I'm up and trying to go back to sleep. So I get up and make my self some Carnation instant breakfast. This is a random blog but I felt like sharing!! I'm super tired. All I've done for the last 2 days is run around and do errands. Today I plan on staying home, look for jobs and watch movies. Update later today!! God bless!!

Welcome to my underground lair!

Welcome to my Blog. I'm using my phone to update so please make room for some typo's as my phone likes to knock me off the blog. Well where to start. I'm 31 years, 9 months, 7 days old today! I was born in Des Moines, Iowa. I still live here. Not that I haven't wanted to move, trust me I do to Phoenix AZ, it's just never been God's will in my life. I've been living by God's will for 4 years now. Yes I believe in Jesus Christ as my Savior. He's the Center of my life and my heart. I could go on and tell you all the horrible things  Ithat have happened to lead me to find Him but not now. Jesus is King.